I wonder if Microsoft really predicted audience response to its press conference would be so lukewarm. That would explain why they spent somewhere in the low six figures to give everyone in the room a free, new Xbox 360. Talk about buying the press! In spite of that, early previews on MS’s showstopper—Kinect—are mediocre; as can be easily seen watching all the demos given by Microsoft.

To be fair, none of the technologies heavily previewed at E3 this year (Kinect, 3DS and Move) translate well to watching. They have to be experienced; but, the experience of Kinect doesn’t look good. There are two big problems with Kinect that are obvious even just watching other people play and it all revolves around the lack of any kind of controller.

Yes, I know Sony has been pushing the “there are no buttons” meme hard; they have a point. The big problem with Kinect is that you are not, in fact, connected. Microsoft has actually removed an essential element of gameplay, the element of touch, thus making Kinect less immersive rather than more.

First, there is no easy way to direct the interface. There are no buttons. Computer mice have buttons. Traditional controllers have buttons. The Wii-mote and the PS Move have buttons. Even touchscreens can be tapped to select an item. To give a command to Kinect, you have to stand still, holding your hand steady in an awkward position until the interface decides, “Oh! You want that button!” I got tired of the mechanic just watching it; I can’t imagine wanting to perform that maneuver on a regular basis.

Second, there is no tactile feedback. Sony discovered, to their chagrin, how important rumble is to gamers with their failed Six-Axis controller that initially shipped with the PS3. Rumble might seem like a silly thing, but it provides important feedback and increases your involvement in the game. Where will that type of feedback come from in Kinect? When you’re petting your Kinectimal, you may be making petting motions; but, you’re petting air. How is this more immersive than using a controller that vibrates with the rhythm of your pet’s satisfaction?

And let’s not get started on the voice control. Anyone who has tried using voice search on a “smart” phone knows that voice recognition, even after the years spent working on it, still stinks. Living rooms are not clean environments, sonically speaking (and maybe physically speaking, but that’s neither here nor there), and people do not watch movies or listen to music at decibel levels conducive to carrying on a conversation with your game console. No one wants to get into a shouting match with Bruce Willis, trying to get their Xbox to stop playing “Die Hard” just by yelling, “Xbox STOP” over and over. So you first must reach for the remote and mute the sound before Kinect will hear you and then why bother using your voice?

Microsoft seems determined to drag up the technologies of yesteryear that have failed because NO ONE WANTS THEM and try to make people, yet again, desire that solution for which there is no problem. They try it with their computer software every few years; it follows they would try it on their gaming platform.

Overall, the Kinect demos were underwhelming. You can walk around your car in Forza Motorsport. Yippee. And, also, skippee. The biggest cheers from the audience seem to be reserved for those demos given by attractive young women rather than for specific games. Lag was an obvious issue in the demos and has been a sticking point in press reviews over the following day. Still, the You Shape program looks like a better Wii Fit, only without the ability to track weight loss (or gain). Although, it is said the camera adds ten pounds, so one probably does not want Kinect measuring one’s weight.